


it's overwhelming, sometimes

by orphan_account



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Cutting, Mention of Minor Character Death, Some Cursing, i suck at tagging im so sorry, jeongin makes a brief appearance, jisung thinks hyunjin is very gorgeous, not alot, those the important ones i think, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-22 18:48:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19969909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Self harming was normal for Jisung.One day he meets a beautiful stranger (aka Hyunjin).Hyunjin finds out Jisung's secret.





	it's overwhelming, sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> The title is weird, I know. So is the summary...  
> This is my first time writing (outside of class assignments), I wasn't sure if I wanted to post at all. But, I wrote it. It's done, so I thought, Why not?  
> I'm sorry in advance for any massive errors, I tried to fix things as I wrote.  
> Anyways..sorry, thank you for clicking this. If you continue reading I hope you enjoy my first fanfic.

“I can’t believe you!” Jisung’s mother hisses. Her prettily polished nails digging into the fresh scabbing on Jisung’s forearm. Jisung feels the scabbing slowly tearing, causing warm blood droplets to form. “Why do you keep doing this? Huh?” She quietly shouts, throwing Jisung’s arm back towards him. “People are going to think you’re crazy,” She knocks her knuckles on the top of Jisung’s head, knocks increasingly getting harder each time. “If people think you’re crazy, they’ll question your parents. Your parents aren’t crazy are they?” 

During his mother’s scolding Jisung examines the damage his mother caused. There’s only a few droplets scattered about, he quickly wipes them away. The doctor will be here any moment, if the doctor sees blood, they might take a closer look at Jisung’s arm. It would be difficult to explain the inconsistent lines and circles etched into his arm. 

_ Yesterday while Jisung was in his room waiting for dinner, he lay in bed letting different thoughts float through his mind. He’s 22, lives life according to his fathers’ plans, does his best to meet his fathers’ ideals, has never done anything outside of his father’s wishes. He’s also never desired to do anything in life, never been interested in anything. Eventually his thoughts become too overwhelming. Breathing heavily, he rolls onto his side, pulling his knees to his chest and grips his head tightly. Warm tears begin to slip, and he squeezes his eyes tight in attempts to prevent them from escaping. He finds himself scrambling out of bed, walking towards his bathroom (which is located in his room, across from his walk-in-closet). He grabs the sharp, shiny object from the top drawer and steps back to let his back hit the wall, sliding down to sit on the cool tile floor. He turns his arm over, slicing over unmarked skin. He had to maneuver around old cuts and scars, but there is room, there always is. Slowly begins a second, a third. He had hoped his breathing would have calmed down, but still shaky breaths continue and Jisung finds himself hastily scraping his arm in random, back and forth motions, circles, any path the blade wanted to go. Finally after a couple minutes, he calms down and cradles his abused arm into his chest.  _

_ After cleaning himself up, he is called down for dinner. At the dinner table, his father and mother are seated across from him. As the maid fills Jisung’s glass with water, he waits for his father to begin before he starts nibbling at the food. Tonight’s dinner was extravagant as always, there were meat choices of beef and duck, four different vegetables, some fruits. Jisung placed some raspberries, tangerines and green beans on his plate. It was quiet, as always, the family never really spoke with one another, no one ever had anything to say. Unless it was to inform someone about something. Like what time Jisung needed to wake up to accompany his father to work, he was taking over the family business after all. Tonight Jisung was informed by his mother that they would be going to the doctor’s the following day. Jisung went wide-eyed and began to internally panic. His mother always tells him important schedules last minute. So, he will be going to his appointment with cuts on his arm, again. His mother always forces him to get check ups or shots, if he’s taking over his father’s business he can’t be sick after all. But, if he had known...maybe he could have at least cut into his leg. The leg rarely gets exposed during a check up.  _

Jisung wishes he hadn’t gone home for the weekend, but his father told him to, so Jisung didn’t really have a choice. He is pulled from his thoughts when the doctor walks in. “So Jisung, I see here that you were given your shots. Good. But,” He casts to knowing look at Jisung, causing the latter to glance down towards his feet. “I’m going to ask you a few questions. I need you to answer honestly okay?” Jisung finds it ridiculous he wants him to be honest with his mother in the room, but he replies with “I will.” 

“Is everything alright at ho-” The doctor is interrupted by Jisung’s mother, “Of course everything is okay at home! Everything is perfect. Why would you ask such a question?!” 

The doctor forces a smile towards the mother, “There are cuts on his arm, Mrs. Han. This is a procedure I am required to follow.”  _ Of course, it’s procedure. He doesn’t actually care. _ The thought jolts a bit of sadness into Jisung’s heart, but it is momentarily forgotten when he is asked another question. 

“So, is everything alright at home?”

“Yes.”  _ A lie. _

“Has anyone at home ever physically abused you?”

“No.”  _ Another lie. _

“Okay. How did you get those cuts on your arm?”

“I fell.”  _ And another lie. _

“You...fell?”

“I did.”  _ And of course another lie.  _

“That’s the truth?”

“I have no reason to lie.”  _ Lie.  _ Jisung smiles at his doctor, hoping this is the last question and it is. 

“Okay then, Well you seem to be in good health Jisung.” Smiling warily, at his patient. “Of course he is.” His mother states matter-of-factly. 

“If there ever seems to be a problem, just make another appointment.” His doctor finishes. Jisung begins to follow his mother out of the room, but there is a squeeze on his shoulder that stops him. He turns towards his doctor, who whispers, “If you ever need help, or someone to talk to please give me a call. Or even a text okay? I’m here for you.” The doctor slips a piece of paper into his hand, and pats Jisung on the back. When Jisung steps out of the room, he glances at the paper with digits scribbled on it. The gesture is kind, but he wonders if doctor’s are even allowed to give out their numbers. 

* * *

“Okay, I will be sure to review the information. I’ll send you an email by the end of the day.” Jisung says, while scrolling through the information on his laptop. “Is there anything else?” 

“Nope.” His vice president, Jeongin, states while double checking the list on his computer tablet to ensure everything for today has been completed. “That’s everything for today.” 

“Okay, good. Then whenever you are finished with your work, I guess you can leave.”

“Yes, Sir.” 

“Jeongin, how many times do I have to tell you.” Jisung laughs “Don’t call me Sir.” 

“I’m sorry, I’ll try harder. But, I really enjoy saying it, Si- ah..oops. See ya!” Jeongin giggles, leaving the room. Jisung watches as the boy leaves the room before going back to work.  _ He is too cute. _

An hour later, Jisung locks up the Student Council room and decided to go back to his dorm room. As he walks through the empty corridor, he recalls how he actually had not wanted to attend college. This college was one that father picked out. It was a business college for “elites” (rich people). It was designed to prepare its students for business jobs after college, even providing some connections (if they could find the right people). It was somewhat structured similarly to high school, somewhat. They had uniforms, a student council (Jisung was president, thanks to his father’s influence, he was well known in the academic community), every student had lunch break at the same time, it was mandatory every student lived in the dorms and there were electives for students to take. They could take up to 2 electives every semester. This semester he was taking art, it was the only elective that did not require group projects.  _ Thank goodness the syllabus is posted before student enrollment periods. _ Jisung loathed working with others. He was, one, too shy. Two, easily overwhelmed. Three, way too nervous to voice his opinions. Four, didn’t like having to interact with people in the first place. He always avoided working with people. His grades have suffered in the past for the F’s he had taken because he refused to work with others. 

Jisung sighs, remember how furious his father was when he discovered the grades. Jisung has gotten much better at working with small groups of people. He needed to be in order to follow the path his father had laid out for him.  _ Although, I have no clue exactly what I’m doing. Or what I will be doing, considering father only tells me one step at a time. _ Jisung wonders if his father even knows what he wants Jisung to do. 

Jisung was so deep in thought, he didn’t even notice he had walked in the opposite direction of his dorm room. He found himself in front of his favorite cafe. Since, he was already here who was he to deny himself a caramel macchiato with  _ extra  _ caramel and an  _ ample  _ amount of whipped cream. 

Jisung idly scrolls through FaceNovel, his college has a student group where many students post complaints, compliments, reviews, find new people to hangout etc. Jisung scrolls through the group posts, to see what students have to say about the college, and does his best to adjust school rules or events to best fit student wants or needs. For example, many students said they would sleep in the library because they wanted to study, but did not want to waste time going back to their dorm to sleep. So, Jisung had sleep areas built for students on every floor of the library. There were also students who wanted more vegan options in the cafeterias, so they wouldn’t have to leave school grounds to get food. Jisung made sure the cafeterias incorporated vegan foods. Jisung’s thoughtfulness is what has allowed him to be president since his freshman year. He is now in his senior year of his bachelor's program, and the students hope Jisung stays for the master’s program. He feels pressured to stay, but he has no idea if that’s what his father wants him to do.

“-extra whip” catches Jisung’s attention. He grabs the drink off the counter, and starts towards the door. Jisung hisses when a heavy pressure pulls and slightly digs into his scabbed arm. He turns abruptly to find the cause of the pain, and his eyes are met with the plumpest pair of lips he has ever seen. They look like a pillow, for his own lips, that’s exactly where Jisung’s lips want to lay. They begin to part and Jisung has never been so entranced. “-my drink.”  _ What? _ “That’s my drink.” Jisung looks up into milk chocolate eyes.  _ What the hell. Why is this person so fucking gorgeous.  _ Finally it registers what the person had said and Jisung looks down at the drink in his hand. The drink is green and the label reads, ‘matcha green tea latte extra whipped cream’. Jisung feels his face getting warmer and he hands over the drink. “I-I’m so sorry, I should’ve paid more attention.” Managing to stutter a full sentence. It’s hard for him to form sentences with someone so beautiful looking right at him. 

“No, no” The other giggles.  _ Giggled. His fucking giggles are cuter than Jeongin’s. What the hell. _ “I know it wasn’t on purpose. Here’s yours.” Switching drinks with one another, their fingers brush slightly and Jisung almost drops his drink. “It was actually on the counter before my drink was. When I saw you grab mine, I grabbed yours for you.” 

“How’d you know it was mine?” Jisung blurts out.

“There’s no one else in here.” Sure enough, when Jisung glances around the cafe it’s empty. That was the main thing Jisung loved about this place. Barely any people and damn good drinks. He looks back at the stranger, who is smiling.  _ I think I used up all of my luck today. Being able to encounter this person was a true blessing. _

“So, I’ll see you around Jisung?” The stranger smiles softly, letting go of his arm. But, the smile morphs into a slight distress when he looks down at his hand. “Oh my God, are you okay?” 

“What do you mean?”  _ Can he tell his beauty has me weak? _

“I’m bleeding! No, no, oh my God. You’re bleeding!” He drags Jisung to the table nearby, snatches the drink from Jisung’s hand and plops both drinks onto the table. Before Jisung can fully understand everything that is taking place, “Let me see your arm,” the beautiful stranger is yanking up the sleeves of Jisung’s long sleeve, Jisung briefly notes some blood had seeped through the material of his shirt. Revealing smeared blood reopened cuts over old scars.  _ The scabs must have teared when Mr. Beautiful grabbed my arm. _

A sharp gasp is elicited from the other’s mouth as he takes in what he sees. Jisung is frozen. He’s not sure what to do. Warm tears begin to cascade down his cheeks, but he makes no move to wipe them away. After a few seconds of silence, Jisung feels his arm tenderly caressed, and dabbed with tissue. Jisung just watches. This is the first person, outside of his home and doctor, to see the scabs and scars littered on his body. Just when he decides to get up and leave, the stranger stands up and gently wraps his arms around Jisung’s head, stroking the hair with his thumb. Neither move for several seconds before Jisung feels a wetness running down the side of his face.  _ Are these tears? Saliva?  _ Jisung tilts his head in the stranger’s hold to look up. He is met with a soft, tearful gaze. Jisung decides even though he wants to leave and be alone, for some reason he feels compelled to not leave the stranger alone. He just seems so fragile right now. So, he stands up, gives the stranger his drink, then grabs his own drink, pulls down his sleeve and holds the stranger’s free hand, rubbing circles in hopes to comfort them. Then he pulls the stranger out the cafe door, breathing in the evening air. Jisung isn’t sure where he’s going, he just starts walking. 

* * *

After what seems like an hour (it’s actually only been like five minutes), the hand Jisung is holding gently squeezes his own causing him to stop walking and face the stranger. Evidence of fallen tears stain his face and Jisung softly squeezes the boy’s hand.  _ I don’t get why, I really don’t like seeing this boy sad.  _

“I’m sorry” the stranger weakly smiles at him. 

“Wha- Why?” Jisung replies, stuttering. He’s sure he knows why. 

“I shouldn’t have p- pulled up your sleeve like that. But, I didn’t think about how intrusive that was. I’m so sorry. I was just- just worried when I saw some blood on my hand. Then blood on your sleeve. I was like ‘Oh no Jisung’s bleeding.’ I just- I panicked a bit. I’m so, so sorry.” He rambled quickly, before hanging his head low, not meeting Jisung’s eyes. 

Jisung isn’t sure how to respond. He feels so vulnerable right now. But, as always he puts on his best fake smile. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to.” Once again, giving the stranger’s hand a squeeze, hoping the gesture comes off as sincere. 

The stranger glances up, tears threatening to fall once again. Jisung releases the hand in his grasp and reaches up to swipe away at the imminent tears in the other’s eyes. “Really it’s okay. Honestly...Quite honestly...I-I..I’m a bit uncomfortable. But, as long as you forget what you saw, it should be okay?” Jisung shakily says uncertainty laced in his voice, hoping this doesn’t turn into an issue for him. 

Suddenly the hand wiping the stranger’s tears is grabbed. The stranger’s eyebrows furrow slightly. “I can’t.” 

“I’m sorry.” Jisung stares at him baffled. “What?”

“I can’t forget this. I mean how could I?” The stranger states matter-of-factly, locking eyes with Jisung. 

“This is my business? Not yours. So, I would appreciate it if y-” 

“I can’t, Jisung” The stranger interrupts. 

“Okay. How do you even know me?” Jisung asks, growing increasingly infuriated.  _ Who is this person to discover something so personal about me, then choose to not let it go??  _

“What do you mean?” 

“How do you know my name?”

“Well, One. You’re the student council president. Everyone knows you. Two. We have art class together. I sit right next to you.” 

“Huh?” 

“The professor has us sit in alphabetical order. You’re Han. I’m Hwang. Hwang Hyunjin.” 

The name Hwang seems to ring a bell, but Jisung isn’t certain.  _ Hwang Hyunjin. Fuck. Even his name is beautiful.  _

“Okay. Well fine. You seem better now, so I’m going to leave.” Jisung huffs, turning to leave, but is stopped. 

“No, please wait. Are you going back to the dorms? I’ll walk with you. I actually live across the hall from you.” 

“Okay, Hyunjin. How the hell do you know where I live?” Looking at his apparent classmate wide-eyed. 

Hyunjin smiles radiantly for the first time since the cafe. Jisung almost forgets why he’s upset right now, almost. 

“We have name plates outside the doors, remember? I happened to see your name plate one day.” 

Jisung doesn’t reply, merely gives a nod. They wordlessly begin walking back to the dorms, together. Jisung didn’t know when they started holding hands again. He isn’t sure who reached for who first. Jisung would be lying if he said he didn’t find comfort in Hyunjin’s touch. 

During the walk, Jisung realized what bothered him most about Hyunjin discovering his cuts. It was that he didn’t mind that Hyunjin found out, as much as he thought he would. But, he should be bothered shouldn’t he? But, there’s the way that Hyunjin held him close afterwards. The way they held hands afterwards. The way that despite Hyunjin crying, his gaze wasn’t filled with pity when he looked at Jisung. When he refused to forget the scene that took place in the cafe, Jisung was upset. But, there was another feeling present, Jisung wasn’t sure how to label it. Relief didn’t quite match the label he was searching for. 

“Do you wanna come in?” Hyunjin says warily, stealing Jisung’s attention from his own thoughts. 

“To your room?”  _ I’ve never been over to a friend's ...stranger's house. Wow, that sounds dangerous.  _

“It’s just- I wanna explain to you why I don’t want to ‘forget’ what happened earlier. I found out something personal about you, so ...if you’re willing to listen I’ll tell you something personal about myself.” 

They were still holding hands, and Jisung could feel the unrest in his emotions through his fingertips. “Okay, sure.” Was all he said, before following Hyunjin into his room. 

The room felt very cozy. There were polaroid pictures and posters adorning the walls, the desk had artwork assignments that Jisung recognized, the bed hadn’t been made, and there were blankets thrown a top the loveseat by the window. A harsh comparison to Jisung’s own room where all he had was a bed and a bare desk. Jisung didn’t care for decoration and he always finished as assignments before the day was over, so he rarely used his desk. 

“You can have a seat here” Hyunjin calls out, gesturing towards the loveseat after folding the blankets, then throwing them (literally) onto his bed. 

Jisung watches as Hyunjin paces about the room for a bit, before grabbing a blanket and settling onto the loveseat next to Jisung. He places the blanket over both of their laps.  _ It’s so soft.  _ Jisung felt blush creeping across his cheeks when he noticed they were sharing the blanket. He knows he is definitely blushing when he realizes how close they were to each other.

Clearing his throat Hyunjin begins, “There’s no easy way to say it. So, I’ll just be straightforward.” Jisung notes the slight hesitation in Hyunjin’s voice. “ The cuts on your arm...th-they remind me..they’re like…uhm” Hyunjin’s voice seemingly fades into a very hushed voice. Almost a whisper, Jisung strains to not miss a word. “They remind me of my mother. She took her life, by cutting her wrists.” Not only is Hyunjin’s voice trembling, but his whole body is. Jisung leans over wrapping both arms around the other’s torso, pulling his body closer. The weight of Hyunjin’s confession, is a lot for Jisung to take in right now.  _ But, Hyunjin has it even harder right now.  _ He tightens his hold on Hyunjin just a bit more, as if he’s scared the boy is going to evaporate into the air. “When I saw your arm, I thought of my mom and how she was always smiling, always had food ready for me, never got mad at me or my father. One day I saw cuts on her arm and asked what happened, I was about 5 years old so I really had no idea. My mother said, ‘I fell, but it’s okay baby. Don’t worry.’ Then maybe a month or so later, my father found my mother d-dead in their bathroom. She took her life while I was at school and he was at work.”

Hyunjin was sobbing at this point, Jisung rubbing circles on his back. “You know what her last w-words to me were? Before I left for school she h-hugged me and told me ‘Hyunjin you’re the best son I could’ve ever asked for. I love you.’” Hyunjin took a breath before continuing. “When I told her I’d see her later she just smiled at me. She  _ knew  _ that I wouldn’t. It still hurts me whenever I think about it.” He shifted slightly, and buried his head into Jisung’s shoulder, continuing to sob.

Jisung let everything that has occurred since they left the cafe sink in. Seeing his arm triggered a tragic memory for Hyunjin. The amount of skinship he has had with Hyunjin is the most he has ever experienced in his life. The only time anyone touched him was during doctor examinations or when his parents were hitting him. Jisung can’t recall ever being hugged, or even holding someone like he’s holding Hyunjin right now. He honestly likes it, it’s comforting somehow. 

Once Hyunjin’s sobs have calmed down, he quietly speaks, “ I don’t want to lose you either.” 

Jisung is very confused, considering he just met this boy (yeah they’re classmates, but officially) today. How could he say anything like that. Then Hyunjin speaks again, barely a whisper, “I like you, Jisung.” Jisung forgets how to breathe. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I like you. I’ve liked you since freshman year.” With newfound confidence, he stares straight into Jisung’s eyes. His gaze too strong Jisung can’t look away. “It might sound creepy?” His lips forming into a shy smile.” But, We’ve had at least once class together each semester. You always excel in every class, it’s hard to not see you when you’re at the top.” Jisung blushes at this, he never thought about how well he did. He just completes assignments to the best of his ability. “You’re so beautiful, kind, strong- ” Jisung can’t hear him anymore.

Jisung begins to mildly panic. He’s not used to being complimented like this. He feels his heartbeat start to pick up, he’s not sure what to do. He remembers he lives across the hall, and prepares himself for the walk to his room. Suddenly, warm, soft hands cup his face, turning it to face the most beautiful person he has ever seen. (Has Jisung mentioned Hyunjin is beautiful?) Now his heartbeat start racing in a completely different way.  _ This feeling is very new. _ He doesn’t hate it, but it also terrifies him- just a little bit. 

“I know this could be overwhelming. Especially coming from- well, a stranger…” He laughs awkwardly. “But, Jisung.” He stares into Jisung’s eyes making sure he has the other’s attention. “I’m serious about you. I really like you. You don’t have to like me back the same way, but…” As his lets his sentence trail off, he slowly reaches for Jisung’s hands, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Can I- can I at least be your friend?” 

Jisung almost cried when he heard those words. 

* * *

**9 months later**

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Jisung says warily. 

“It’ll be okay, just relax. You trust me right?” Hyunjin says, rubbing small circles into Jisung’s back. 

“Of course I do, but I think maybe this- this is too soon for me. For us.” 

Hyunjin kisses Jisung’s nose, causing Jisung’s face to scrunch up, nearly reminiscent of a bunny. 

“Don’t worry okay, everything will be okay. I promise.”

Over the past 9 months, the two spent much more time together. Hyunjin was doing his best to support and help Jisung. They worked on getting Jisung to quit cutting any part of his body. “I know this might seem weird, but whenever you feel the need to cut yourself use this instead.” Handing Jisung a pack of glitter markers. Whenever Jisung had the urge to cut, Hyunjin said he should draw on himself instead. It was somewhat difficult at first to reach for markers instead of blades, but the hurt in Hyunjin’s eyes every time he saw a new cut on Jisung motivated him to try quitting just a little more each day. 

A few months later Jisung was reaching for the markers more frequently, and the drawings on his body became much more elaborate. Sometimes he worries about relapses, but now he has steadily been doing well. While still following the plans his father has for him, Jisung has been toying with the idea of becoming a tattoo artist. Of course he hasn’t told his father yet. The drawings he gives himself has begun to give him a bit of joy and pride when he sees them.  _ I made this. I drew this to symbolize Hyunjin.  _ He would love to design meaningful art onto people’s bodies and hear the stories behind each piece of art. 

Jisung is thankful everyday for Hwang Hyunijn. He is positive he would not be where he is mentally without Hyunjin’s continuous support. Who would’ve thought that fateful day, they coincidentally met in the cafe would've been a pivotal point in Jisung’s life. 

“He’s here.” Hyunjin whispers to Jisung, lacing their fingers together, heading towards his father’s office. Jisung trailed behind, nervousness growing with each step. 

Ever since they became friends, Jisung was constantly turning down Hyunjin’s invites to visit his father’s house. After months, he finally agreed, but now he almost regrets coming. He’s way too nervous. 

“Hey dad! Guess wha-” Hyunjin’s question is cut off, but he is still bouncing around where he stands, swinging their linked hands back and forth.  _ He’s fucking adorable.  _

“Hey Jin, I didn’t know you were coming this week-. Oh?” His father pauses when he spots Jisung. Looking between the two boys, one beaming a smile and one a nervous wreck trying not to pee himself. He glances at the interlocked hands. Jisung feels like he might faint. Then his father beams a smile at both of them.  _ I see where Hyunjin gets his smile from. _ “Hyunjin are you dating my patient?” 

“What?!” Both say at the same time. They share confused looks, before turning back to Mr Hwang. 

_ Hwang..Hwang. Oh! _ Jisung remembers. “Ah- You gave me your number a while back!”  _ That’s why Hwang sounded so familiar when Hyunjin first told me his name. Dr. Hwang.  _

“Dad?! Why are you flirting with your patients?!” Dr. Hwang belts out a huge laughter. 

“I wasn’t flirting. I was...concerned.” Dr. Hwang’s gaze softens. He turns to Jisung, “I’m not asking as a doctor. I’m asking you as your friend’s fath-” 

“Boyfriend” Hyunjin cuts in shyly. 

“Sorry boyfriend’s father.” Dr. Hwang slowly says, obviously hiding his smile, trying to be serious. How have you been?”

Jisung takes a deep breath, “I’ve been fine. Honestly Hyunjin has been supporting through a lot. I’m forever grateful to have someone this wonderful by my side.” He finishes smiling at Hyunjin. Who returns his smile with so much sincerity, Jisung’s heart swells at the sight.  _ How did I get this lucky?  _

“Okay. I’ll leave it at that. I hope you still have my number. It seems we might be becoming closer now right?” He smiles at both boys. “So, do I need to give you guys the sex talk or are we okay?” 

“Nope dad, we are completely okay.” Hyunjin says dragging Jisung out of the room. “We’re going to cook dinner. Will call you when it’s done.” Jisung doesn’t miss the blush crawling it’s way onto Hyunjin’s cheeks. 

From holding blades, to Hyunjin’s hands. Wiping blood off of his cuts, to wiping tears from Hyunjin’s eyes after a sad movie. Hyunjin brought about a lot of changes to Jisung’s life. He feels as though, truly in this moment, he’s in a better place. No matter how many times Jisung tells Hyunjin how thankful he is for his existence, his words just never seem to accurately describe how he genuinely feels. 

He looks over at the boy, bobbing his head and singing along to a pop song playing through the bluetooth speaker. He’s rinsing off raspberries, Jisung’s favorite. Jisung can’t help but smile. 

“Hey Hyunjin.” Hyunjin turns around raising his eyebrows, a few raspberries in his mouth. 

Jisung takes small strides forward. “I love you.” Placing a kiss on the raspberry filled mouth. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you actually read the whole thing, thank you!  
> I know that self-harm can be difficult, can be unrealistic for some people to stop harming themselves in like 9 months, but that's just how I wrote the story.  
> (PS: I thought I would focus on Jisung's school life, but when I started writing this was the result. lmao.) 
> 
> Thank you again!


End file.
